Mamie Venancio (@sarcasticunt) Brings the Funny on Twitter. - Interview



I introduce to you, Mamie.

Mamie is a 23-year-old-smokin-hot-red head enlisted in the United States Marine Corp and living in the South Carolina area. Mamie is a natural redhead and just received her Pre-Law Degree. It’s only natural that she has over 50,000 followers on Twitter.

I discovered Mamie AKA @sarcasticunt on Twitter when one of her tweets came through my news feed. She practically took the words right out of my mouth. The tweet read: @sacasticunt: I wish I could illegally download clothes.

I mean seriously, how awesome would that be.

But I didn’t actually click and view her account until another one of her tweets was re-tweeted through my news feed. The tweet read: @sarcasticunt: Is herpes a real thing, or is it just something your parents threaten you with to get you to eat your vegetables?

I couldn’t help but ask myself the same question, because I have no-fucking-clue how I lived the majority of my alcoholic years at Chico State and got away without contracting herpes.

Here’s a few more from @sarcasticunt

“Benefits of dating me: You’ll be dating me.”
“I need to go back to the hood, I’m pretty there. I can’t compete with high class broads.”
“If you can’t be pretty or smart, the least you can do is be quiet.”
“You’re welcome, guy walking behind me up the stairs.”

Yes. Yes. Yes. Sold!

Why do I like her? Three reasons: One, because she’s a Marine; two, because she’s genuine; and three, because she’s a 23-year-old-red-headed sarcastic cunt with attitude. Sold.

Mamie, thankfully, took time away from her awesome tweeting to talk to me.


Q - Tell us a little about yourself.

A - My name’s Mamie, Mamie Venancio. I’m not straightedge, I eat meat, I have no religion, and no regrets. I’ve got a sick sense of humor; I love making fun of the world and myself, and you. Middle finger in the air and a drink in the other hand, that’s how I like it.

Q - Tell us about your worst sexual experience.

A - Oh lord, well picture this: we’re getting it on in a position I have no idea what to call so we’ll just say he was “hittin’ it from the side like a mutha - bass drum” and I decide I want to be “sexy” and swing my leg over to wrap around him. He leans up at the same time and I kicked him in the face. There was blood pouring out of his nose and honestly I just couldn’t stop laughing. Needless to say we didn’t speak anymore.

Q - What kind of guy/girl is your dream guy/girl?

A - Someone who can cook because I sure as hell can’t. Oh, and having a nice “v” cut wouldn’t hurt. Jokes aside it would be someone who’ll stick around. When I am old and dying, I want to be in love with the same person I married. I want them to hold my hand constantly, but perhaps I am just selfish.

Q - If you had to pick one important lesson you’ve learned in this life so far, what would it be?

A - Rule number one of life: EVERYTHING IS TEMPORARY. That’s not always a bad thing nor is it always good, but the sooner you learn it the better off you’ll be. If life sucks, remember it’s only temporary. If you met your dream guy, he’s going to leave you for someone half your age in 20 years. Life goes on.

Q - What are you most passionate about?

A - Passion, whew. I’m probably the most un-passionate, indifferent individual around. I guess I’m passionate with writing, whether it be Twitter to make strangers laugh; or LiveJournal to make strangers cry. I love to write. I am a firm believer in never doing something with half of your heart, though. Always go 100% with everything you do.

Q - Clearly I think you stand out from other women, but tell us in your own words what makes you different?

A - I get that A LOT, “you’re not like other women.” I like to try to tell myself I’m exactly like other women. I’m just not afraid to say the things they’re thinking. I never cared too much to act the way I was “supposed” to act, especially being raised in the Bible belt of South Carolina. I wanted to bite holes into the side of soda cans and jump off cliffs into the river. I mean to this day, I can’t paint my own nails. Maybe the fact that I had a strong bond with my father plays into it. He was a sharp-witted, anti-government, asshole Marine who raised me to be a take-no-shit sarcastic, or to put it frankly: bitch. I realize I’ve got this one life to live (to be cliché), and I’m damn sure going to live it to where I’m happy. I could care less if John Doe is unhappy with what I do.

Q - What is your dream?

A - I would like to become fluent in Spanish, and Italian, and maybe Klingon. I’d like to write and publish a book. It’d be cool to give a big ol’ fuck you to whoever decided women needed to be in the work place so I can’t just lie in bed all day. (Calm down feminists it’s only a joke.) I’d also like to walk down the streets of California topless just for the attention but pretend it’s to prove a point of equal rights. As far as big time goals in life, I don’t have many. I live more day-to-day (which isn’t always a good thing). I wanted to go to Paris. I wanted to love a man. I did both, and they weren’t that great; so now I’m just along for the ride.

Allow Mamie to bless you with her sarcastic cuntiness.
Follow her on Twitter: @sarcasticunt



BYLINE:

Emily Grove is a humor writer from Sacramento, CA. Visit her on the web at: www.EMGinsight.com, on Facebook and on Twitter.
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