Zoiks! Online - Music. Stand-up. TV. Film. "Funny Name. Seriously Entertaining.": 6/1/10

"Britney Spears is class act entrepreneur. We can only hope these clothes don't suck."

In addition to being a pop star, tabloid princess and “actress,” Britney Spears is now adding fashion designer to her resume. Her first collection of clothing and accessories, which she designed for Candie’s, will be sold exclusively at Kohl’s Department Stores and available on July 1, 2010. “Britney for Candie’s” is geared toward female students and will feature a mixture of day and evening looks.

I wonder what Ms. Spears means by “a mixture of day and evening looks.” Perhaps her collection will include the naughty schoolgirl outfit she wore in the “…Baby One More Time” music video (which is sure to have every pedophile across the country rejoicing while trolling various Kohl’s stores). Or maybe it’ll include the red spacesuit getup she rocked in the “Oops!...I Did It Again” video. P.S. Hopefully Britney is as good at fashion design as she is at incorporating ellipses into her song titles. Better yet, she could design and sell a version of her rhinestone bodysuit that she wore in the “Toxic” video. After all, what self-respecting schoolgirl wouldn’t want to be covered in nothing but gems and a nude body stocking on the first day of class?

While I am a fan of some of Britney’s fashion choices, and I can see how people might want to dress like her, my hope is that “Britney for Candie’s” won’t make its wearers want to behave like her, too. Attacking a car with an umbrella, getting hauled away on a stretcher after suffering a nervous breakdown or having babies with Kevin Federline aren’t exactly good ways to start off the school year.

I’m just thankful Britney Spears didn’t design a hair care line, as I’m sure it would include nothing but horribly unrealistic weaves and a razor kit.

BYLINE:

Kate Brindle is a stand-up comedian from Ann Arbor, MI. For more information and for tour dates, visit her at www.katebrindle.com. Email Kate at hottiepants@zoiksonline.com.

"The women of Absinthe drop new EP 'La Fee Verte.'" – Music Review

A few months back we did an interview with the ladies of Absinthe; you can check it out here. Absinthe is made up of front woman Cherokee Fortune, guitar duo Briana Alexis and Terri McCoy, Shannon Bizzy on bass & vocals and Dacey Spinuzzi on drums. Absinthe is a hard rock band whose influences include Led Zeppelin, Aerosmith, Guns n Roses just to name a few. You can definitely here their influences on their EP entitled “La Fee Verte,” but they manage to sound current as well. “La Fee Verte” is available at the girls' website.

The EP consists of three songs, “Filthy,” “Pull the Trigger” and “Lick it Up.” What sticks out for me on the EP is the guitar playing. Alexis and McCoy’s playing together sounds very loose to me, much like Whitford and Perry from Aerosmith or Izzy and Slash from Guns. There’s a solid rhythm guitar in each song giving the lead player room to improvise. Terry and Briana share lead and rhythm duties. The recording sounds a little low budget, but it gives the songs a certain charm, a more authentic feel if you will.

The star of the band has to be front woman Cherokee Fortune. The front person is such an important ingredient for a band to be successful. There are so many bands that I hear that are trying to make it. They sound great musically, but the singer is just so plain. This is not the case with Cherokee Fortune. She has the power of Ian Astbury and the range of Miles Kennedy (Alter Bridge & Slash). She sounds what I’d imagine Ann Wilson would sound like if she sang heavy metal.

Since we last talked with the ladies of Absinthe, they’ve played the Long Beach Grand Prix with Cheap Trick. They also opened for ZZ Top at the Del Mar Fairgrounds.

Head over to www.myspace.com/absinthewomen and listen to the new EP. They’re by no means trying to reinvent the wheel. This is straight forward hard rock music, which has been lacking too much on the radio these days. I’m excited about the future of rock music. A lot of the music that we’ve been receiving from record labels and up and coming bands has more of an old school rock feel to it. Bands like Cockpit, Absinthe, Kopek, and Dirty Sweet are the future and they’re going to bring back rock music.

BYLINE:

Bob Zerull is the Managing Editor of Zoiks! Online. He writes pop culture commentary, does interviews with bands, and reviews music and stand-up concerts. He also administers Zoiks! Online's Facebook page. Follow Bob on twitter at bzerull. Email Bob at bob@zoiksonline.com.

"The Maine announces iTunes LP pre-order."

The iTunes LP preorder for The Maine's “Black & White” is up and running. The deluxe version will feature the standard album, two acoustic bonus tracks ("Right Girl" and "Inside Of You"), handwritten lyrics, exclusive photos, videos and a documentary that chronicles the making of the album.

The Maine is set to hit the road in support of “Black & White” on July 7th on the band’s first-ever headlining tour, "An Evening With The Maine."

BYLINE:

Jason Tanamor is the Editor of Zoiks! Online. He is also the author of the novels, "Hello Lesbian!" and "Anonymous." Email Jason at jason@zoiksonline.com.

"Alex Band's solo debut 'We've All Been There' out now." - VIDEO

After The Calling disbanded in 2005, the release of singer Alex Band's solo album “We've All Been There” has been a long time coming. With his record actually completed in 2007, a restructuring of his label left the release in limbo. Since then, Alex has spent the last few years regaining control of the master recordings and establishing his own label, AMB Records, partnering with EMI for distribution. "I've finally got creative control, which is the main reason I went through all of this," he said. "So now I'm starting completely over as a solo artist and reintroducing myself to the world."

Alex says of his album - which charts the course of a relationship from start to finish - "It’s definitely about my own struggle, but I think everyone can relate to what I’ve been through from experiences in their lives. I think everything I’m talking about on the record is pretty universal. And knowing now that I’m writing for different cultures, with fans around the world, it’s important that what I’m writing about is generalized enough that people can take the songs in their own way."

“We've All Been There” is available in stores and online. Starting July 7th, Alex will play a few dates with friend and Live vocalist Ed Kowalczyk before kicking off his first headlining tour in six years. For a full list of tour dates and details visit AlexBand.net.

BYLINE:

Jason Tanamor is the Editor of Zoiks! Online. He is also the author of the novels, "Hello Lesbian!" and "Anonymous." Email Jason at jason@zoiksonline.com.

"The Dirty Heads releases 'Lay Me Down' official music video."

Executive Music Group is proud to unveil The Dirty Heads’ official music video for their #1 breakthrough single, "Lay Me Down." The music video follows two teenagers running through the streets of Mexico avoiding the cops and looking for a place to settle down. After the two find their way to a local halfway house, they have just enough time to take part in a round of drinks with The Dirty Heads.

"Lay Me Down," the band’s first chart topper, was featured on Rolling Stone's "Hot List," and is one of the most added and requested songs at dozens of radio stations across the country. The Dirty Heads will continue to sell out shows across the U.S. while touring this summer in support of Sublime with Rome and Matisyahu, as well as performing their own headlining shows and festivals.

Fans can now pick up the band’s debut album, “Any Port in a Storm,” at Amazon.

BYLINE:

Jason Tanamor is the Editor of Zoiks! Online. He is also the author of the novels, "Hello Lesbian!" and "Anonymous." Email Jason at jason@zoiksonline.com.

"Kopek's debut album drops today." - Interview

The Irish trio Kopek drop their debut album “White Collar Lies,” June 29th digitally at www.kopekofficial.com. Our very own Jason Tanamor claimed that “White Collar Lies” is the best album of 2010, and I have to agree with him. The band’s one of the hardest working bands out there. They’ve paid their dues for ten years, and now it is their time to shine. Recently I got a chance to talk with front man Daniel Jordan.

Q - How would you describe your band's sound?

A - It’s been described as hard rock that blows the steel of an armored tank, with some songs I suppose that’s true. The sound has been a while in the making, as a three piece we always had to come up with little ideas and tricks to make our live sound bigger. People always say that it sounds really big live. It’s definitely hard rock; we listen to a lot of classic rock music as well so I suppose that comes through too. For this record I think the fact that we spent so much time gigging and touring as a three piece gave us a really solid base to elaborate on. When you really get immersed in the studio you get to the point where music and the writing becomes like a second language. It can be effortless at times but also quite frustrating. Since we started the band the focus has always been on the song. We never do anything just for the sake of it. It all has to support that original idea or sentiment. I suppose it’s because we never followed any fads or trends. A lot of music today seems to be just more of what sells as opposed to coming from its own place.

Q - How did the band get together?

A - Shane and Brad are next-door neighbors and have been friends for years. They had been playing together for a while and then they found me through an ad in a music magazine in Dublin. Lucky Bastards! So we started rehearsing and playing some shows around Dublin. It was a blast! Hey it must have been fun; we’re still together right!!?

Q - You guys have been together a long time, now you're finally getting your debut album released. How was that album written? Was it written in the studio, was it songs you had been playing for years?

A - Well the songs got written in all kinds of ways. We wrote Fever a couple of years ago in LA after a trip to Crazy Girls…. (Those in the know will know!!!). Then a song like Subhuman was done on my own and finished in the studio. “Love is Dead” was a real space jam song. The riff and the whole groove and the idea really came together in the studio in one session. So there is no real formula to it when the music comes it just comes you know? Lyrically it can also happen in different ways. Sometimes you have a very definite subject that you’re writing about like for example in “White Collar Lies.” It really doesn’t pull any punches so you have to stay a little focused with songs like that. In bigger than us all, rather than being so direct we wanted to use the words to capture the sentiment.

Q - Tell us about your new album "White Collar Lies." Where does the title come from and what were your inspirations?

A - It’s been something that has come together over a few years. The inspiration came from a lot of different places some are quite obvious but others are a bit more personal. I suppose we just write about the things that we see happening in the world or going on with us, or the stuff we talk about with our friends. The title comes from the title track on the album. We wrote it a few years ago and it was inspired by the hardship and pain that war and big business can cause. It’s sad that it is so relevant once again considering things that are going on right now like the BP spill and the financial crisis. The white collars do and the blue collars pay.

Q - What's the music video process like? Who came up with the concept of the video?

A - Johan Hesselgren, our director for the video, came up with the concept of the lyrics moving along the girl’s body. We loved it instantly. It’s such a big song lyrically that the idea of visually representing the lyrics really appealed to us, and also the whole sexy rock and roll theme was perfect for the song. The experience was a lot of fun, Johan is a really cool guy, the poor guy was shakin’ with the amount of coffee he drank. I think the shoot went on for seventeen hours!

Q - Who were your early influences?

A - My very earliest influences were bands like the Stones, Rage Against The Machine and Nirvana. I was always drawn to music that was edgy and less than perfect. I think there is a hell of a lot more honesty and credibility in music that just bears it all.

Q - What bands are you listening to right now?

A - At the moment I’m listening to "Exile from Main Street," by the Stones, I saw the documentary last week, you need to see it! Also Them Crooked Vultures, those guys are serious. It was great to hear that proper rock sound again and hopefully it will encourage labels to sign more rock bands and open the doors for newer stuff coming through. I listen to a lot of blues as well. Muddy Waters, Son House and Robert Johnson. Again it’s the rawness and little imperfections that I find attractive.

Q - Are there any plans to tour?

A - Yeah, we are planning to get over in the next few months. If we make it over the border! We are really looking forward to getting out and playing the record live. We’ve been to the states a few times and always found the crowd really up for it. It’s always been an amazing experience and I can’t wait to do it again. A lot of the music we listen to comes from the states so it’s always great to be over there and visit the places where it all went down.

Q - What's been your most embarrassing stage moment?

A - We were on tour in Switzerland, and in the middle of the song I put my foot on the wha pedal and it slipped off the stage and I went after it. Classic! Woke up two minutes later and those fuckers were still playing!

Q - What is the bands greatest achievement thus far?

A - I think it was finishing that gig with the other two in fits of laughter and me semi-conscious.

Q - Is there anything else you'd like to add?

A - Yeah, just that we are really looking forward to getting over to USA and rocking out live. Hopefully it will be soon enough. Hope you enjoy the album and thanks for the support!!

Head over to www.kopekofficial.com and pick up the best album of 2010, “White Collar Lies.” It’s good stuff.

BYLINE:

"Sex is why ‘Twilight’ is so popular. ‘Eclipse’ is the latest example."

The Twilight movies are about sex. Sex is why the Cullen family, and indeed all Vampires are so damned Gap model attractive. Sex is why Taylor Lautner’s Jacob, and the rest of his Wolf pack are shirtless for most of the movie. The denial of sex from Edward to Bella, from Bella to Jacob, is the driving force of the plot of the latest Twilight chapter “Eclipse” and it makes for one exceptionally irritating tease. Not to mention one truly irresponsible and outdated morality play.

As we rejoin the “Twilight Saga,” a young man in Seattle is being menaced in the rain. He is soon bitten and will become a Vampire, the first in an army of newborn Vamps under the control of the evil redhead Victoria (Bryce Dallas Howard). She is building an army to attack the Cullen Clan and especially Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart), the love of Victoria's mortal enemy Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson).

Bella and Edward, reunited after Edward tried to runaway in “New Moon,” are now in the full blossom of love, as demonstrated by the two of them reading poetry in a flowery meadow. How else would you know they were in love? Bella is still pestering Edward about becoming a Vampire while Edward talks of marriage.

Meanwhile, Bella has drama with her pal Jacob, yet another of Edward's sworn enemies, who happens to also be in love with Bella. Bella has feelings for Jacob and this love triangle is supposed to be a source of deathly, primal, tension that smolders off of the screen but as written and played it comes off much more like two boys fighting over a favored toy.

Bella and Jacob haven't spoken in the months since she chose Edward over him but when Victoria returns to their tiny corner of Washington State, Jacob wants to know that she is protected and that he and his wolf pack are ready to do the protecting. Victoria’s army leads to a truce between the Cullen clan and the Wolf pack and some newborn vampire heads get crushed in the film’s best sequence.

The battle scenes staged by director David Slade have a crisp, professional look that was desperately lacking in the first two Twilight movies. Slade's experience on the vampire flick “30 Days of Night” definitely pays off here even as he is restrained by a bloodless PG-13 rating. Did you know that Vampires are made of marble? I’m not kidding, freaking marble, like tabletops. Goofy as that sounds, the visual of marble crushed by Vampire fist and Werewolf teeth is pretty cool.

As an action movie, this is certainly the best of the Twilight brand of action. But, “Twilight” is not about Vampires and Werewolves punching and biting one another in some CGI universe. No, “Twilight” is about sex, more to the point, about spreading a fear and loathing of sex.

Stephanie Meyer has crafted a morality play in which Vampirism and the Werewolf version of eternal love known as ‘Imprinting’ are merely poorly veiled metaphors for sex. The pain of turning into a Vampire, the fear of Edward’s uncontrollable ‘blood’ lust and Jacob’s animal sexuality are Meyer’s way of making sex dangerous and foreboding.

In the “Twilight” series sex is threatening, mystical and frightening unless you are married. It’s the Purity Ring of movie franchises, clinging desperately to an outdated idea of chastity as the only way to live. Teens are sexually active and the more society attempts to frighten them away from sexuality the more dangerous teen experimentation becomes. Instead of teaching teens the joy of safe, responsible sex, “Twilight” preaches abstinence through fear and encourages ignorance in the form of outdated moralism.

If you must send this chastity/abstinence/purity message then at least do it better than this. In Eclipse, the message is delivered with Ms. Meyer and Ms. Rosenberg employing undercooked analogies, juvenile romantic fantasy and groan inducing monologue that run page after page apparently communicating what the writers felt could not be communicated by the cast through that talent known as acting.

Disagree? Julia Roberts, Gwyneth Paltrow, Mark Ruffalo, Phillip Seymour Hoffman or many other of our finest actors can say more with a mere glance and an inflection than the characters of the Twilight franchise have said in endless pages of painfully overwrought dialogue in 3 movies.

Like the first and second film in the saga, “Eclipse” is for fans only. Those who love the books are blind to the immature romance, the stolid monologues and the attempt to push an abstinence message in the guise of a Vampire movie. I’m sure if Twi-hards would pull their eyes away from Edward’s gleaming skin or Jacob’s rippling abs they would see this series for what it is; but trust me that is never going to happen.

BYLINE:

Sean Patrick Kernan is a film critic. Check him out at: http://www.myspace.com/number1ramjamfan. Email Sean at sean@zoiksonline.com.

"Avenged Sevenfold 'Nightmare' available everywhere July 27th."

Avenged Sevenfold has just launched an iTunes pre-order for the new album, “Nightmare,” which is available everywhere July 27th. The pre-order includes the full “Nightmare” album, “Lost It All” non-album bonus track, exclusive photos, and a lot more.

Avenged Sevenfold will be hitting the road later this Summer with Disturbed on the Rockstar Energy UPROAR Festival.

Order on iTunes here: http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPreorder?id=379461578

BYLINE:

Jason Tanamor is the Editor of Zoiks! Online. He is also the author of the novels, "Hello Lesbian!" and "Anonymous." Email Jason at jason@zoiksonline.com.

"Summer day in Central Park video from Sheryl Crow." - VIDEO

Enjoy a “Summer Day” with Sheryl Crow in a new video just posted to her website. In addition to a taste of the upcoming music video for the single, fans will also be treated to footage from Sheryl’s “Summer Day” recording sessions. Watch the clip here and stay tuned for the official video in the next few weeks.

Sheryl Crow’s soulful new album “100 Miles From Memphis” will hit stores on July 20th, and is available for pre-order now on iTunes.

Visit SherylCrow.com for all the latest news and updates.

BYLINE:

Jason Tanamor is the Editor of Zoiks! Online. He is also the author of the novels, "Hello Lesbian!" and "Anonymous." Email Jason at jason@zoiksonline.com.

"Disturbed's New Single, 'Another Way To Die,' blazes up Rock radio charts."

Multi-platinum hard rock band Disturbed has scored the highest chart entry position at Active Rock radio to date with the No. 5 bow of “Another Way To Die,” the electrifying new single from the upcoming album “Asylum.” This is the best debut on the Active chart for any song since Linkin Park’s “What I’ve Done” in April 2007 and is only the 15th song to debut in the Top Five since 1997. The track also debuted at No. 6 on the Mainstream Rock chart and was the No. 1 Most Added at Active and Modern Rock.

Disturbed has also announced that Reprise Records will release “Asylum” on August 31st, 2010. Cover art for Asylum has just been revealed on their website, www.disturbed1.com.

Formed in Chicago in 1996, Disturbed has sold 11 million albums and six million digital tracks worldwide, and has scored eight No. 1 singles at Active Rock radio over the course of the band’s career.

2008’s “Indestructible” debuted at Number One on Billboard’s Top 200 album chart and remained in the Top 10 for five weeks. It was the band’s third consecutive Number One album, following the platinum-sellers “Believe” (2002) and “Ten Thousand Fists” (2005), making Disturbed one of only six rock bands in history to score three consecutive Number One debuts with studio albums.

BYLINE:

Jason Tanamor is the Editor of Zoiks! Online. He is also the author of the novels, "Hello Lesbian!" and "Anonymous." Email Jason at jason@zoiksonline.com.

“Deftones confirms US tour.”

Deftones has just completed a triumphant European tour in support of its sixth full-length studio album, DIAMOND EYES, which crash-landed its way into the Billboard Top 10 upon its May 4th release.

Following a string of sold out U.S. dates, and a high-energy performance on ABC's Jimmy Kimmel Live!, DEFTONES made an immediate impact overseas to manic audience reaction and headline-grabbing media response. Back home in the States, the press has also responded in kind:

"Blissed-out and surreal…brutal beauty abounds." – SPIN Magazine

"Diamond Eyes belongs in the pantheon of amazing albums born from tragedy. Unlike their alleged 'peers' (do they really have any?), Deftones learned years ago that a whisper can be more terrifying than a scream and power isn't always about BPMs and downstrokes per minute.

And Godspeed, Mr. Cheng: Your brothers made great record in your honor." – Alternative Press

While their American fans impatiently await this fall's highly anticipated BLACKDIAMONDSKYE (also featuring Alice In Chains and Mastodon), DEFTONES are pleased to announce their own headline tour slated to begin this August on the West Coast, which will work its way across the Midwest.

BYLINE:

Jason Tanamor is the Editor of Zoiks! Online. He is also the author of the novels, "Hello Lesbian!" and "Anonymous." Email Jason at jason@zoiksonline.com.

"Sneak peek of Maroon 5's 'Misery' video."

Check out a sneak peek of Maroon 5’s video for their new single “Misery.” The action packed, Joseph Kahn (Black Eyed Peas, Katy Perry, U2) directed clip is set to premiere across MTV’s platform on Thursday, July 1st.

“Misery,” which impacted at radio today, will appear on Maroon 5’s third studio album, “Hands All Over,” due out on September 21st.

To kick off their summer tour, the band just announced they will take the stage at New York City’s Beacon Theatre for “Fuse Presents: Maroon 5 Live From the Beacon Theatre,” airing live in HD, Tuesday, July 27th at 9pm ET on Fuse TV. Visit Maroon5.com for a complete list of tour dates including newly announced shows with OneRepublic and Bruno Mars.

BYLINE:

Jason Tanamor is the Editor of Zoiks! Online. He is also the author of the novels, "Hello Lesbian!" and "Anonymous." Email Jason at jason@zoiksonline.com.

"Rush 'Beyond the Lighted Stage.'" - Documentary Review

Did anybody happen to catch “Beyond the Lighted Stage” on VH1 Classic Saturday night? I always love a good roc doc, especially when it is about a band like Rush. I discovered Rush late in life, I knew who they were, but to be honest I never really gave their music a chance because I didn’t like Geddy Lee’s voice. I took a class in college called the History of Progressive Rock. I didn’t know what progressive rock was at the time. I thought I was going to be learning about Led Zeppelin and the Beatles, while those bands were mentioned in the class, I was dead wrong.

On the first day of class my instructor started playing music and asked us if we recognized it. Immediately I recognized Jethro Tull, Yes, Pink Floyd and Rush. My instructors favorite band was Rush and we learned about Rush, Queensryche and Dream Theater in last portion of the test. When he made me listen to the musicianship behind Rush I became a fan and started to actually like Geddy Lee’s voice. Then I found out there are only three guys in the band and they literally are using all of their limbs while playing their songs.

Because I’m became a fan later on, I’m more of a greatest hits fan. I own “2112,” “Moving Pictures” and a couple of their other albums, but I haven’t made the effort into becoming an all out Rush fan, but I wish I would. After catching “Beyond the Lighted Stage” on VH1 Classic Saturday night I think I may need to put forth the effort.

I knew very little about the band. You never saw Rush on TV (until they did “The Colbert Report” a couple of years ago). My favorite drummer of all time is Neil Peart, and you never got to see him talk. I’ve done you tube search on Neil Peart interviews and there is just very little out there. This documentary definitely took care of that craving I’ve had. The film features interviews from all three members of the band, producers, managers and other rock stars such as Kirk Hammet (Metallica), Trent Reznor (Nine Inch Nails), Mike Portnoy (Dream Theater), Billy Corgan (Smashing Pumpkins) and a lot more. I found Billy Corgan to be the most insightful and I’m not the biggest Smashing Pumpkins fan. Corgan pointed out that whenever people mention their favorite bands they always mention Led Zeppelin, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones etc etc, but Rush seems to constantly be left out of these discussions and lists.

Rush is the biggest cult band of all time. Every time they release an album it debuts at the top of the charts and then falls off because they have such a loyal fan base that picks up the album the first week of its release. The film points out that the band currently is probably more popular than they have ever been and that’s because of loyalty and the fact that they’ve consistently added more fans throughout the years.

Another cool thing about the band is that they are just three normal guys, who are insanely good musicians. Neil Peart is the shy one, Alex Lifeson is the goofy one and Geddy Lee is the vocal one. The band formed in Canada in 1968. At the time Peart was not a member of the band, in fact I don’t think Geddy Lee was an original member either.

Rush was Lifeson’s band with drummer John Rutsey. One night Alex asked Geddy to sit in with them and the band grew from there. The band recorded their first album in 1974, couldn’t get signed, but a radio station in Cleveland, Ohio got a hold of the track “Working Man” and it became an instant hit in the Midwest. As the band got bigger Rutsey wasn’t up for the task and was out of the band. In comes Neil Peart. They went on tour with Kiss for 50 dates. Gene Simmons commented that he’d never met rock stars who weren’t into banging all the chicks, until he met Rush. He said at one of the shows there was a cheerleading leading team or some group of girls staying in the same hotel as them and that rather than being interested in the girls they were more annoyed by them.

Lee and Lifeson have this natural bond that they’ve had since they were kids. To this day Peart is still kind of considered the new guy. Peart is more quiet and reserved. With all the down time while touring, Peart would read books. Alex and Geddy picked up on this and assumed that Neil must be smart because he reads and he uses big words, so the called on him to be the lyricist.

The documentary follows the band from album to album. Their second album was a major disappointment; they went from playing arenas with Kiss to playing tiny clubs and bars. The record label wanted them to be more commercial and like Bad Company, so they made the album “2112.” The album was based on the Ayn Rand book “Fountain Head.” Sebastian Bach said how that album made him go out in read the book, Kiss never made him read a book before. If you’ve never heard the album “2112” I urge to you to go and pick it up, especially if you’re not into Rush yet, the album will blow your mind.

The best song on the album was 20 minutes long, so the radio wouldn’t play, but the album was still a success. Rush became one of the greatest prog rock bands. A couple albums later they were burnt out on progressive rock and decided to change it up and released “Moving Pictures.” Accord to Neil Peart, “Moving Pictures” was when Rush became Rush.

Over the years the band’s sound changed. In the 80’s they started to get into synthesizers, alienating some of their diehard fans, but bringing in new fans while maintaining some of the very loyal fans. They eventually started to head back to their rock roots. Then Neil Peart, arguable the best rock drummer ever, decided that he wasn’t good enough and went to study drums with Jazz instructor Freddy Gruber. The best rock drummer decided that he wasn’t good enough so he studied to get better, that just amazes me.

I really encourage any Rush fans and just rock music fans in general to check out “Beyond the Lighted Stage.” It really is very interesting and I learned a lot about one of the quieter bands out there. In the mean time check out the trailer here.

BYLINE:

“Justin Bieber’s mom’s beaver a no go.”

By Jason Tanamor

Bieber fever has extended to adult men with the rumor that Justin Bieber's mother would be posing topless for "Playboy" magazine.

However, Pattie Bieber, who is only 34, denies any rumor for posing topless. She's definitely not going full frontal, which would be a great headline, "See Bieber's beaver here."

"Playboy" reportedly offered Ms. Bieber $50,000, an amount that probably pales in comparison to what Justin is worth.

I personally think adult Bieber should show her beaver. And Justin should be in the pictures with her. That way, there could be a nude pictorial AND a lesson on the birds and the beavers.

BYLINE:

Jason Tanamor is the Editor of Zoiks! Online. He is also the author of the novels, "Hello Lesbian!" and "Anonymous." Email Jason at jason@zoiksonline.com.

"The Devil Wears Prada kicks off 'Back To The Roots' tour."

By Jason Tanamor

“We want to go back to our roots, play little hole-in-the-wall places where fans can be right there in front of the stage, where we can hand someone a mike and really have the fans be an active part of the show, not behind a barrier ten feet away,” TDWP’s Mike Hranica said.

With the tour kicking off next week, Rockstar Energy Drink partners with one of the brightest rising stars in the metalcore world, The Devil Wears Prada. The Devil Wears Prada will play the biggest venues of the band’s career, and probably the smallest.

Twenty-five thousand screaming kids one night, then 250 hot and sweaty fans the next. A much-anticipated venture for a band that regularly plays to sold-out crowds of 1500-2500.

Voted 2009's Band of the Year by the readers of Alternative Press, The Devil Wears Prada - vocalist Mike Hranica, guitarist/vocalist Jeremy DePoyster, guitarist Chris Rubey, bassist Andy Trick, keyboardist James Baney, and drummer Daniel Williams - is getting set for a relentless summer tour, interspersing performances at ten major, outdoor festivals with multiple nights headlining small, intimate clubs.

The “Back to the Roots” club dates will kick off on Saturday, June 19 at The Arbor in Memphis, TN and play 40+ ‘roots’ shows through to the end of August. Joining TDWP on all “Back to the Roots” dates will be Miss May I and Your Demise. Tickets are on sale now and can be purchased through The Devil Wears Prada's website or MySpace page.

“One of the primary elements of the ‘Back to the Roots Tour’ is playing a few Dear Love songs that we have not played in a long time, and probably will not play again or anytime soon” said Hranica. “We have not built the precise set list yet, and I know it will not entirely be composed of older Dear Love songs, but there will definitely be more in there than what we usually do.”

The major summer festivals and “Back to the Roots” tour follows the band’s first ever headline tour of South America which took place May 8-16, and all dates are in support of the band's most recent album, “With Roots Above and Branches Below.” Released in May 2009, the album debuted at #11 on the Billboard Top 200 Albums chart and set off a series of events that led to a huge break-out year.

BYLINE:

Jason Tanamor is the Editor of Zoiks! Online. He is also the author of the novels, "Hello Lesbian!" and "Anonymous." Email Jason at jason@zoiksonline.com.

"Take a trip backstage at The Bamboozle Roadshow with Drive A."

By Jason Tanamor

Take a trip backstage with punk rockers Drive A in a new Bamboozle Roadshow video update.

Watch as Taylor, Jason, and Cody walk around the various merch booths and backstage areas, and then lead you directly onstage to catch a glimpse of all the intensity of a live Drive A set.

Don't forget to also stop by the band's Facebook and Stickam pages to chat it up with the boys at 3PM PST / 6PM EST every Thursday!

BYLINE:

Jason Tanamor is the Editor of Zoiks! Online. He is also the author of the novels, "Hello Lesbian!" and "Anonymous." Email Jason at jason@zoiksonline.com.

"Adam Lambert trails Carrie Underwood for best 'American Idol.'" – POLL

By Jason Tanamor

In the race to 100,000 votes as the best/most successful “American Idol,” Carrie Underwood is overtaking Glambert nation in a margin of only 2,600 votes, which seems to be getting larger in margin every day.

Adam Lambert’s loyal following started out of the gate with Lambert in a commanding lead over Underwood. Since the poll, which started a week or two ago, Underwood’s fans have come and voted for their “American Idol.”

The margin of votes became bigger and bigger, showing that Underwood’s fans are truly more devoted to Carrie than Glamberts are to Adam. Lambert recently won the first ever Zoikies! for most searched. Was this a farce?

Currently, there have been 22,500 votes. Here is the link: www.zoiksonline.com/2010/06/is-adam-lambert-carrie-underwood-kris.html

Who will win this poll? Vote and see.

BYLINE:

Jason Tanamor is the Editor of Zoiks! Online. He is also the author of the novels, "Hello Lesbian!" and "Anonymous." Email Jason at jason@zoiksonline.com.

"'Big Brother 12' will be the craziest season yet!"

By Scott Harris

It's that time again ‘Big Brother’ fanatics because CBS will air the 12th season of the hit reality show on July 8th, 2010. If you're like me then you are about to lose a whole lot of productivity in your life because you'll be constantly checking ‘Big Brother’ live streams and worrying what the crazy house guests are doing.

"Expect the unexpected" has been the theme of ‘Big Brother’ for a while now and I think this year we can expect more of the same. Will there be secret teams that know each other before entering the house? Will there be an America's player? How many total players will there be? One thing for certain is there will be lots of people back stabbing and eating slop.

If you are as excited as I am about this premiere then make sure you check back at www.zoiksonline.com after every episode for an update on what happened as well as my personal take on everything. You can also leave a comment if you agree or disagree with me. Also let me know any rumors or twists you would like to see in this upcoming season.

Get ready for a crazy new ‘Big Brother’ season!

BYLINE:

Scott Harris was in the army. He played poker for a living for about seven months. He likes golf and always wanted to write but never thought he was very good. Now, he’s writing about reality shows. It’s still determined if he’s any good. Email Scott at scott@zoiksonline.com.

"Close Your Eyes' faith comes out in the band's music." – Interview

By Jason Tanamor

I’ve always wondered how bands pick their names. A lot seem to reference another band’s song or even lyric that they grew up admiring. Girl in a Coma named themselves after The Smith’s “Girlfriend in a Coma.” When I came across Close Your Eyes I thought of a few scenarios. The ending lyric to Ozzy Osbourne and Lita Ford’s “Close My Eyes Forever” where Ozzy slowly fades out singing “Close your eyes, close your eyes…” and the first line to the Bangles’ “Eternal Flame” says, “Close your eyes…”

Brett Callaway, guitarist for Close Your Eyes recently explained the origin of the name, the band’s music, and the new album.

Q – Why did you decide to name your band Close Your Eyes?

A - It really comes from two different things. The first is the idea of the accepted norms of society and pop culture and how some of those things are fake and empty and vain. And how we need to close our eyes to that to see your true reality. The other is the idea of the spiritual world and how it can be more real to use what we see, so we close our eyes to what we physically see, to see what is more important.

Q – In the beginning of Close Your Eyes’ career, there were a lot of band member changes. How did you know that the current line-up was the right line-up?

A – Well, we have had three other members. Shane and I have been here from the beginning. This current line-up we have now has been steady for a while. Sonny has been with us for about four years, Andrew for 3 1/2 and David for 2 1/2. I don't know if I have ever thought about the current line-up being the right line-up; it was just how it was, and everything felt right.

(Photo by Matt Wysocki)

Q – With the current line-up, what does each member bring to the band and its music?

A - Andrew and I write most of the music and Shane writes probably 90% of the lyrics. I only write something if I have an exact idea for the vocals when I am writing the lyrics. And as far as sonny and David they just kinda write their parts to the music. We all have different music backgrounds. And I think that speaks to the diversity in our music.

Q – The band is a Christian band. Is it difficult promoting a faith based band that also happens to be a hardcore metal band?

A - Not really at all. Our faith is a huge part of our lives and we write what is real to us so obviously it is going to come out in our music. Ha ha, and I am not so sure how metal we are. :)

Q – When I first heard your music, I thought Close Your Eyes had a hint of A Day to Remember. I have always liked singing with a little screaming. Your music reflects that. How do you decide that a lyric will be screaming or singing?

A - It is really just what feels right in a section.

Q – What’s the writing process like? Do you start with lyrics, music, or both?

A - We usually start with music and the lyrics are written after that.

Q – The new album is called “We Will Overcome.” Tell me a little bit about the album and what fans can expect.

A - The album is all about struggles and how we get through them and overcome them. It is a hardcore punk album with some other stuff thrown in. It is really just what we are passionate about and we try to put as much energy and passion into it as possible. Ha ha, and that is exactly what you can expect.

Q – What are your favorite songs on the album to play live?

A - My favorite song to play live is probably “17:20.” And I like “Wake Up!” and “Digging Graves” as well. “Song for the Broken” is always fun also.

Visit Close Your Eyes at: www.myspace.com/closeyoureyesmusic

BYLINE:

Jason Tanamor is the Editor of Zoiks! Online. He is also the author of the novels, "Hello Lesbian!" and "Anonymous." Email Jason at jason@zoiksonline.com.

"The Pretty Reckless kicks off Warped Tour."

The Pretty Reckless is kicking off the 2010 Vans Warped Tour today in California. Check out a video of the band from the Warped Kickoff Party at the Key Club in LA to get a taste of their live show.

Stay tuned for the release of their debut album, “Light Me Up,” due out later this year. A brand new EP is available now.

Check out the review of the EP here: "Taylor Momsen's voice and the music behind it are a dazzling combination for The Pretty Reckless' new EP." – Music Review

BYLINE:

Jason Tanamor is the Editor of Zoiks! Online. He is also the author of the novels, "Hello Lesbian!" and "Anonymous." Email Jason at jason@zoiksonline.com.

“Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Kevin James and David Spade don’t shine in ‘Grown Ups.’ And that’s OK.” – Movie Review

Critics, like me, can decry the Adam Sandler brand of comedy all day. We do, we will, I will. But, we cannot deny its continuing success. Sandler is, arguably, the safest business bet in all of Hollywood. Even at his worst in garbage like “Bedtime Stories,” the worst film of 2008, bar none, Sandler still turns out his fans and returns on studio investments. That will not change with the release of “Grown Ups.” This thin excuse for Sandler to get his oldest friends together for a lakeside working vacation is exceptionally typical of the Sandler brand: dog doo, passing gas and copious pratfalls. It's not filmic poetry but fans of the brand do not care.

In “Grown Ups” Adam Sandler is Lenny, a 40-something Hollywood Agent married to a sexy fashion designer (Salma Hayek) and raising three spoiled kids who text their nanny to bring them things ,and spend most of their time in front of a flat screen TV. Lenny laments his children's lack of imagination but does little to change them. That is until Lenny is shocked out of his rich boy Hollywood idyll by the death of his childhood mentor and basketball coach, Coach Buzzer (Comic and Sandler crony Blake Clark).

Gathering up his wife and brats, Lenny is headed home to a lakeside retreat to meet his old pals and former teammates. There's Eric (Kevin James), the chubby one, whose wife (Maria Bello) is still breastfeeding their 4-year-old son.

Kurt (Chris Rock), a henpecked house husband under the thumb of his pregnant wife (Maya Rudolf). There is Marcus (David Spade), the single and loving it ladies man. And finally there is a Rob, a dopey thrice divorced vegan spiritualist married to a much, much, much older woman (Joyce Van Patten).

(Photo by Tracy Bennett)

Beyond these minor character quirks there really is nothing to any of these characters. In the course of “Grown Ups” none of these characters evolve, deepen or expand our understanding of them. Sure, each is given an issue to play, like Sandler and his tech-obsessed brats, but each of these issues is resolved with little, if any, dramatic effort.

Like most Adam Sandler comedies, “Grown Ups” is an idea in search of a story or unifying theme that settles for being a series of occasionally funny gags and one liners. Sandler and his company Happy Madison don't so much develop screenplays really; rather, they come up with ideas, grab a camera and hope that something will come together in editing.

Nothing much comes together in “Grown Ups.” David Spade gets in a few good jabs. Kevin James falls down funny once or twice. Rob Schneider has a bit with an arrow that earns a chuckle but the good gags are few and far between. More often you get a lot of dead space in which the gang riffs in search of a punch line, often never finding it and allowing a scene to simply end awkwardly and unfunny.

None of my criticism of “Grown Ups” will matter to the Sandler cult. There is poo, there are multiple farts and the chubby guy, James, falls down funny. That's all the Sandler fan asks for and that is all that “Grown Ups delivers.” Success, it seems, is a highly subjective concept.

BYLINE:

Sean Patrick Kernan is a film critic. Check him out at: http://www.myspace.com/number1ramjamfan. Email Sean at sean@zoiksonline.com.

“The death of Michael Jackson – 1 year later. Where were you?”

A year ago, the king of pop left the world bittersweet. Many fans that grew up listening to his music remember the icon as an innovator, but they also have to add in the fact that Jackson was a little odd.

I’d like to remember him for bringing hit after hit after hit, with all of the silly stuff and nonsense as a side note to his brilliant career.

I happen to be in Cleveland when Jackson died. Cleveland, of course, is where the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame is. As you can imagine, there was a memorial right inside the building. That month, Bruce Springsteen was being featured in an exhibit as one of the latest honorees inducted.

Although people may have made the trek to see the Springsteen memorabilia, they couldn’t help but pay their respects to Michael Jackson. Some cried, some took pictures, some left gifts, flowers, poems, stories, etc. Everyone, however, stopped to look at the growing memorial.

A couple days later, the breaking news was the murder of Steve McNair, the former Tennessee Titans quarterback. Stories bombarded the stations with breaking news of McNair. And then, they were gone. Not for good. But the ‘real’ news was the death of Michael Jackson.

A local reporter talked to the camera about a candlelight vigil at the Rock Hall, encouraging fans to come down. I didn’t get a chance to go but I could only imagine the turn out. A few days later, all that was on television were biographies, Hollywood stories, etc. The grand finale of all of this was live coverage of Michael Jackson’s funeral. I was astonished at the treatment that Michael Jackson received. Roads were closed for the procession, a helicopter following above, and police escorts as if the President of the United States were visiting.

That, in a nutshell, is what Michael Jackson meant to popular culture.

BYLINE:

Jason Tanamor is the Editor of Zoiks! Online. He is also the author of the novels, "Hello Lesbian!" and "Anonymous." Email Jason at jason@zoiksonline.com.

"SyFy brings Debbie Gibson and Tiffany back together – sort of."

Two of my childhood dreams came true when Debbie Gibson and Tiffany posed for “Playboy” magazine. Although their goods were worth seeing, what I really pined for was the pop tart rivalry that was so evident back in the day. You know the one, with Debbie Gibson ‘shaking her love’ against Tiffany’s ‘alone now.’

No? Well, OK, it’s a stretch as there really wasn’t a rivalry, yet the media portrayed the two to have one.

The pioneers of teeny bopper girly acts are back in a new movie for SyFy called “Mega Python vs. Gatoroid.”

Gibson will play an animal rights activist whose specialty is exotic snakes and making sure they are loose and free from pet stores. If these snakes get loose, they grow huge. Tiffany will play a park ranger whose methods to save endangered alligators are far from normal.

Apparently, there is a scene where Gibson and Tiffany fight from scene to scene, sort of like Peter Griffin and the chicken. Hopefully this scene with Gibson and Tiffany is sexier and less annoying.

The best part of this story is the fact that Tiffany approached the network saying that she and Gibson should appear together in a movie.

What? Is that how it works?

Hey SyFy, I should appear in a movie where I play a Yoga instructor who fights crime doing yoga positions.

Downward dog hi ya!

Warrior pose snap!

Sun salutation wa cha!

My enemies could be mutant bottles of Vicks VapoRub.

And then a child pose chop!

And scene…

BYLINE:

Jason Tanamor is the Editor of Zoiks! Online. He is also the author of the novels, "Hello Lesbian!" and "Anonymous." Email Jason at jason@zoiksonline.com.

"Sister Sin brings 80’s music back without the cheesy Poison lyrics." - Interview

Hear me out. I’ve never heard of Sister Sin. Growing up in the 80’s I was a huge fan of Skid Row, Motley Crue, and LA Guns. These bands had an 80’s sound but it wasn’t too Bon Jovi-ish or Winger-like (although I wanted to be Kip Winger); rather it was on the heavier side of the spectrum. Fast forward to now.

The sound I fell in love with hit me again recently when I was leaving a Chevelle show. Sister Sin and its record label’s street team were working that night. Thank God they were. Really, thank God. That’s because, one of the songs on the sampler CD was from Sister Sin, a song called “Outrage.” Let’s just say, I was reunited with that 80’s heavy sound. Sister Sin’s drummer, Dave, recently chatted with Zoiks! Online about the band, its sound and the new album.

Q –Where did the name Sister Sin come from?

A - From an old Swedish band called Machine Gun Kelly, they had a song called "Sister Sin"

Q – Who are the members of the band?

A – Liv, Vocals; Jimmy, Guitar; Dave, Drums; and Benton, Bass.

Q – Sister Sin has kind of an ‘80’s sound. I hear Skid Row and LA Guns a little in your music. How do you describe your music?

A - I would describe it as easy as Heavy Metal but people like to label it under all kinds of different categories of course. We definitely have an 80´s metal feel like Accept, W.A.S.P, and early Motley Crue but we’d like to think we’re bringing it up to date with a bit more current sound and skipping the cheesy "let’s party" Poison lyrics.

Q – With music being cyclical, how does Sister Sin maintain longevity and originality while adapting to styles that may come and go? (We’ve seen Aerosmith and Metallica change their sounds a little to accommodate the change in music.)

A - Since we started in Gothenburg we’ve always been against the grain as you can imagine so I don’t see a reason why we would suddenly change and jump on the next bandwagon. I can definitely see us developing our sound for every record but I think it’s important to keep the core of it. We’ll have Motorhead as a guiding star to stay consistent. :) We have never strived for huge commercial success and that probably helps too.

Q – What do you think of shows like “American Idol” that promise everything for doing nothing?

A - Just gets a faulty perception for people who want to make it as an artist how everything works in the business. Being a musician and trying to survive from it is hard work all the time and not one or two auditions for a greedy Englishman who wants to fast cash on a one hit wonder. What I really don’t get is why talented people apply for that show because you’ll usually get a life span equal to milk carbon and after that no other labels wanna touch you with a two foot pole.

Q – The new album is called, “True Sound Of The Underground.” Tell me a little bit about this album and what fans can expect from it.

A - Well, it’s a bit more metal orientated than the last one, more to the point. No slow tracks or power ballads here. Just fist in the air, thriving guitar solos and a well deserved bitchslap to the current scene.

Q – What was the writing and recording process like for this album versus the last album “Switchblade Serenades?”

A - Kind of different actually. "Switchblade" was our first full length album and we’d written the songs over a couple of years. The whole perspective makes it a lot easier to choose tracks for the album because you’ve evaluated them both live and on demos for a long time. For the new one we only had 3 months of writing which makes it harder to reflect which songs are really good. But we did work very hard and we did proper pre-production which made it easier also. We had much more time in the studio as well with this compared to the first one, also had a producer who was very picky with details and stuff so we ended up really happy with the result.

Q – Sister Sin is from Sweden. Any thoughts of making the move to the states?

A - We have thought about it. But that probably won’t happen. We do try to focus a lot on the U.S. for this album but we do have a bigger fan base in Europe which makes it a lot easier to book tours and festivals and it’s much comfortable to have that available if we do have down time from North American tours.

Q – Will there be a tour to accommodate “True Sound Of The Underground?”

A - Yeah, we’re starting a U.S. tour in San Diego the 18th of July with M.S.G and Lynch Mob until the 19th of August, and then we have another run lined up in North America starting in September. When we do get back to Europe in November we’ll tour here to the end of the year.

Q – Anything else you want to add?

A - Buy our album! It was released the 21st of June in North America on Victory Records. It kicks ass and is available everywhere! CHEERS.

For more information on Sister Sin, visit them on the web: www.sistersin.com.

BYLINE:

Jason Tanamor is the Editor of Zoiks! Online. He is also the author of the novels, "Hello Lesbian!" and "Anonymous." Email Jason at jason@zoiksonline.com.

"Runner Runner performs Goo Goo Dolls song."

Runner Runner recently stopped by New Jersey’s 94.5 PST to perform a special acoustic live session. Check out the video to see Ryan, Peter and Nick perform a cover of the Goo Goo Dolls’ “Slide.”

Runner Runner’s official music video for “So Obvious” can now be seen on YouTube. The band is planning to release its debut album sometime later this summer.

In the meantime, you can get your Runner Runner fix by seeing the guys on tour with Secondhand Serenade.

BYLINE:

Jason Tanamor is the Editor of Zoiks! Online. He is also the author of the novels, "Hello Lesbian!" and "Anonymous." Email Jason at jason@zoiksonline.com.