"Adam Lambert, Hot Wheels, and Tron in my little Christmas miracle." – A CHRISTMAS UPDATE

Zoiks! Online would like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Christmas has always been my favorite holiday; partly because I don’t have to work. But as a kid, getting gifts from “Santa” was what made it. Unfortunately, in my household “Santa” had a sense of humor.

One year I asked for Hot Wheels tracks – the blue thick plastic strips that connected together to form a kick ass roller coaster of racetrack to which the car didn’t make it halfway. Regardless, they were bad ass. That was until I was out of line. Then my parents used them to beat me. Now I’m not saying that my parents abused us kids; back then parents were allowed AND encouraged to knock some sense into us.


While I was avoiding the wrath of the Hot Wheels tracks, I was thinking how Santa had a funny sense of humor. So, the next year, to outsmart Santa, I asked for a different type of gift. Things like pillows, Magic Merlin’s Mystical Dust, and air, they all highlighted the list. I wasn’t stupid; because if you’ve ever been beat by air, it’s not that bad.

Today, being a child in a grown-up body, I still like to ask for gifts. This year I asked the readers if I should get Adam Lambert, “Twilight” or Avenged Sevenfold merchandise. The result was overwhelming – Adam Lambert. There were a few votes for A7X, but Lambert ruled my list. So that is what I asked for. Hopefully, if I’m out of line, my father won’t fling the disc at me like a metallic Frisbee. I’ve never been sliced by a CD before, but I’ve seen Tron and it can’t be healthy.

So, thank you readers for the votes. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. We look forward to entertaining you next year.


BYLINE:

Jason Tanamor is the Editor of Zoiks! Online. He is also the author of the novels, "Hello Lesbian!" and "Anonymous." Email Jason at jason@zoiksonline.com.
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4 Comments:

Anonymous said...

Jason, You are really crazy in a good way! Merry Christmas!

Anonymous said...

Jason - I love your articles! Merry Christmas -watch out for flying disks ;-)

JuneauXena said...

Ask for digital downloads! Getting pelted by bits is not too painful. Then again, you'd miss out on those fabulously campy CD covers. OK, I take back my advice. Get the physical FYE CD and the Acoustic EP. The risk of sustaining a cut that will require a few stitches is well worth it, to be able to tuck those delicious images under your pillow every night.

Anonymous said...

Wow, I did not read JuneauXena's comment clearly! But was applauding whole heartedly the delicious images

 
 
 

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