"Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' new reality show would be well controlled."

Tweet According to Great Britain’s “Grazia” magazine, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are planning to appear in a reality television show. A source close to the couple told the magazine, “They want to portray themselves as a normal family who do normal things. They are aware that Katie is being perceived as 'brainwashed' and they want to change that.”

Well, it looks like TomKat has quite the uphill battle ahead of them.

I must admit, I am slightly curious. Will the show feature Suri entering toddler pageants like the extremely well-adjusted children (insert eye-roll here) on “Toddlers & Tiaras”? If she’s not already doing them, she should get cooking because, at four years old, she’s almost past her prime. Or perhaps the Cruise-Holmeses can switch places with another celeb couple a la “Wife Swap.”

To up the drama, I, for one, think Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman (Cruise’s ex-wife) would make excellent exchange partners. Maybe the show will be a how-to guide for showing the world how weird you can be by marrying a much younger woman, knocking her up and then jumping on a couch like a mad man to proclaim your happiness on national television. I just hope TomKat’s show won’t be like Britney Spears and Kevin Federline’s “Chaotic” (a show that was more moronic than chaotic), which could not have been more boring.

Apparently, Tom and Katie are being quite selective when it comes to shopping their show around, and Tom is insisting on having complete control over the footage that will be aired. According to another source, “Tom places a premium on control, so he's reluctant to commit to doing a reality TV show unless he's 100% it will reflect him and Katie in the best possible light.”

So let me get this straight. Tom Cruise needs to be 100% in control in order to show the world he’s not controlling?

Hmm…looks like this battle might be more like a war – a very well, planned out, controlled with the right amount of temper and emotions – war.

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Kate Brindle is a stand-up comedian from Ann Arbor, MI. For more information and for tour dates, visit her at www.katebrindle.com.

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