"Robert Pattinson's penis is news, circumcised or not."

With the Internet almost crashing due to everyone logging on to see Robert Pattinson with his fly undone on the set of “Water for Elephants” I’d like to take this opportunity to say that even if you could see Pattinson’s penis, would you want to?

People probably say, “That R. Patz is hung like a horse.” Or, people probably say, “That R. Patz is hung like a hang nail.” By being able to see inside his pants and at his penis, if you believe one way or the other, and the truth is the opposite, it could scar you for life.

So, if you do not wish to see the picture of R. Patz with is fly undone, then don’t bother looking. There is nothing to see, not because of the fact that he could have a tiny penis, but because of the fact that there is nothing to see.

However, forget the fact that his penis might be big or small, what I want to ask is: Is Robert Pattinson circumcised?


Jason Tanamor is the Editor of Zoiks! Online. He is also the author of the novels, "Hello Lesbian!" and "Anonymous." Email Jason at jason@zoiksonline.com.

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Anonymous said...

Christ- I hope not. No man should be multilated! Chances are NOT because the practice isn't all that popular in England...or anywhere out of the U.S.

Anonymous said...

What a stupid, tacky article about a personal matter which is no one's business. This journo obviously never aspires to write anything truly intelligent just gutter trash.

Anonymous said...

What a stupid, tacky comment about a personal bias which is everyone's business. This commenter obviously never aspires to post anything truly intelligent or not biased just gutter retardation.

Anonymous said...

A resounding YES to the first paragraph/question.

Hugh7 said...

He is reported to have told European papers he is not. Englishmen seem quite relaxed about this. Having had your penis left alone at birth seems to make it a non-issue.

Anonymous said...

I hope he is. Circumsized dinkies look so much more attractive. But it's none of my business. Sigh.

Leave Rob Alone said...

Rob Pattinson: Umm.. what? - Wax - Bloody face

Anonymous said...

I sure hope he is! The uncut ones are so gross.

Anonymous said...

you Americans are so incredibly ignorant. "Circumcised cocks look better and uncut are gross". Okay, get a passport (since 85 % of Americans do not own one) and go travelling abroad. See for yourself that 80 % of the world's population are uncut. Yep, you read it. 80 % of the world's population were left the way they were created at birth. Routine circumcision originated in the Victorian era in the UK, as a way to prevent masturbation since it was considered to be immoral, shameful and dirty (the Victorian time is known for its repression of sexuality). That way of thinking was brought over to America, and where as routine circumcision stopped in the UK in the 20th century, it continued in the US and has since become cultural customs. From what I understand, the American Medical Association does not recommend routine infant circumcision since they have come to the realization that it is unnecessary.

Anonymous said...

no i don't think they mutilate babies by removing their foreskins or clitoral hoods (or worse) in every country, only america and the middle east.

i bet his foreskin is very white.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like someone got butthurt because they're not circumcised. LOL. Obviously you'll lever meet the person who said they prefer circumcised penises better so why let it affect you?
I live in US and can say I've seen my fair share, all that have been CUT. It's just a preference, so really who cares? Not a personal attack so move on.


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