“Aerosmith is talkin’ bout things that nobody cares.”

By Bob Zerull

So I write an article about Aerosmith breaking up and then that same night Steven Tyler joins Joe Perry on stage at a Joe Perry Project show to sing “Walk This Way.” Steven Tyler then announces that he is not leaving Aerosmith. The headlines turn from Aerosmith is breaking up to Aerosmith is not breaking up. Kind of reminds me of the balloon boy fiasco.

Well, today Joe Perry is saying that nothing has changed. Steven wants to take two years off and Aerosmith is not going to wait for him. So is this a hoax? I don’t see a balloon over my head. Joe Perry has a new solo project out and by there being a controversy in Aerosmith; he gets headlines, especially if he’s willing to talk about it/throw fuel on the fire. You haven’t heard much from anybody else in the band on this topic. It kind of makes you wonder.

Aerosmith has been the king at remaining relevant. In the past they’ve done it through music. Maybe now they’ve found another way. Joe Perry knows he’s nothing without Steven Tyler. Steven Tyler knows he’s nothing without Joe Perry and to be perfectly honest neither one of them are anything without Brad Whitford, Tom Hamilton and Joey Kramer.

If this is not a hoax and Aerosmith does decide to get a new singer, PLEASE, I’M BEGGING YOU, DON’T MAKE AN ALBUM. Go ahead and tour, who cares? That might actually be neat, it’d be kind of like the Led Zeppelin rumor with Steven Tyler at the helm that died very quickly last year. If you make a new album call it “Rock in a Hard Place - Part 2.”

The question is not is this a hoax or is this the real deal, the question is, do we really care? I’m a fan, so I’ll probably stick around regardless. If you’re not a fan you’re probably wondering why we’re even talking about Aerosmith. In the end we all know that the Toxic Twins Perry and Tyler will eventually stop arguing like a couple of “Rag Dolls” (I’m such a loser) and get their asses “Back in the Saddle” again (twice in one sentence).


Bob Zerull is a frequent movie and concert goer who talks about his ventures to arenas and theaters more than any person should be allowed to do. Now, he puts them down on paper. Visit: www.cadaverchristmas.com. Email Bob at bob@zoiksonline.com.

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t-o-n said...

As a former fan (or rather a current fan of most of the stuff Aerosmith did before they caught a nasty case of chronic suck), I care. But only because I have some stupid insistance that they have personally betrayed me by hiring professional songwriters and generally looking like someone's drunk, horny grandmother. I don't want to root against them, but I can't help but to feel like breaking up would be the best way they could make it up to me.

Because it's all about me.


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