By Jason Tanamor
If you’re looking for something fun (and sexy) on the Internet, check out Suzie Cocktail. She’s the star of her own web series, “A Perfect Girl for a Perfect World.” The series revolves around spirituality, as well as sexuality, not to mention a lot of Suzie Cocktail in very little clothing. Zoiks! Online recently had the pleasure of speaking with the online personality.
Q – Where did you come up with this persona?
A - I didn't come up it with myself. I grew up in Brooklyn with an orthodox Jewish family and at one point in my life, I realized I'm different than anyone else. That's when I realized that I'm enlightened.
Q – What’s your real name and where did you come from?
A - My real name is Suzie Cohen, and I'm from East New York, Brooklyn.
Q – Why did you decide to do this?
A - I take helping people very seriously and when Carrot Jelly entertainment approached me to be the star of its flagship web series, I was very flattered, but insistent to help other people heal.
Q – Watching some of the videos of you, I kind of get a hint that there is some “Borat” influence behind what you’re doing. Where did you come up with the ideas for your videos?
A - Borat is a cutie putie no doubt about it but most of my ideas I channel while I'm playing with my carrot.
Q – Exactly what do you want viewers to away from this?
A - The principles of ethics, self-awareness, loving yourself and healing the ozone through green consciousness. People need to learn how to connect to themselves and get green in their soul.
Q – You want viewers to be taught a lesson in each video. What credentials do you bring to make you qualified to “teach” people anything?
A - After graduating high school, I put myself through a rigorous program. I locked myself in my room in my parents’ house for two years and taught myself self-healing. This is a great technique because no one can interfere with your healing process. Also my cutie putie healer Dr. Jacob Horsepower is teaching me stuff all the time.
Q – Do you think you’ll be a star or just another Internet personality who will eventually get lost with the “Numa Numa” kid?
A - To be perfectly honest, as a master guru, I would like to heal President Obama, although I think he is a cutie putie as he is, but my mission is to be the guru of the world. So you can't compare me to any personality, its more like a new movement where everyone needs to heal together, and as a master guru, I'm supposed to heal the world.
Q – What makes you so attractive to viewers?
A - I think people sense my radiant aura.
Q – What do you say to critics who don’t “get” what you’re trying to do with your humor?
A - They resist because they know that demons are inside them and they just need to heal in order to sense the magic of life.
Q – A lot of times personalities don’t touch audiences because they are not believable. You say that your father was addicted to porn and that you are a virgin. Is there a lot of truth to your upbringing?
A - Of course, and I'm brave and fearless and I'm ready to expose myself to my audience.
Q – Anything else?
A - Hi cutie putie, get your carrots and join me at SuzieCocktail.com. Sending you light. Love you all!
Q – Thank you much!
A - You are very, very welcome cutie putie!
Jason Tanamor is the Editor of Zoiks! Online. He is also the author of the novels, "Hello Lesbian!" and "Anonymous." Email Jason at email@example.com.
By Jason Tanamor