By Jason Tanamor
One of the things that irks Andy Kindler is a bad comeidian. He recently stopped by to vent about them.
Q - Did you always want to be a comedian?
A - No. As a little kid (Little Kid was my rap name) I wanted to be a musician. I played the violin, but not intentionally for comedic effect. Then I switched to guitar and started writing songs. Don’t worry. I don’t do song parodies. After not making a living as a musician, I became a stand-up.
Q - Was there a particular moment that made you decide to do stand-up?
A - A friend of mine convinced me to give it a shot with him as a comedy duo. I did that for a couple of years, and then I went out on my own. So I was cajoled into starting, if cajoled is an actual word.
Q - Describe your act for those who only know you from television.
A - My act involves me complaining about everything in popular culture that bothers me. And anything else that sticks in my craw, if that is an actual place. I also comment a lot about my act as I’m doing it. Before I was a comedian, I was in the deconstruction business. I wouldn’t build a house. Just describe it.
Q - Your bio says that you are known in comedy circles as a troublemaker. How did you get this reputation?
A - I tend to name names, which can affect future employment. Like I make fun of Larry the Cable Guy. So now I’ll never be invited on the Blue Collar Tour. Which I guess is a blessing. What was the question again?
Q - You wrote an article for National Lampoon called, "The Hack Handbook." Was this inspired by anyone in particular?
A - There are so many people who inspired me to write that article, it’s hard to pick just one. But Robin Williams would be a good place to start. He’s my go-to hack.
Q - Why do you hate Dane Cook so much?
A - I don’t hate him personally. Nor do I hate his act really. I love to watch his act and savor every over the top moment. It’s pure joy to see him prowl the stage and over sell his material. And I love how much hair product he uses. He’s over the top on top.
Q - Aside from Hitler, who else is Dane Cook worse than?
A - He’s worse than Ghengis Khan’s brother, Dennis Khan, who was a prop act. He’s on a par with Mussolini, although Mussolini had better timing.
Q - Is Dane Cook worse than Carlos Mencia?
A - Carlos Mencia and Dane Cook could have a Worse Off.
Q - Has Dane Cook ever tried to kick your ass?
A - No, and I hope he doesn’t because I cry and whimper at the drop of a hat, or after I’m punched. I assume when he fights, he telegraphs his punches, along with a lot of pantomime.
Q - Do you think if you and Dane Cook were to get into a fight, he would do his dinosaur impersonation on you?
A - Thankfully I haven’t seen his dinosaur impression, or maybe I blocked it out. Does he do anything funny with his hands during the bit?
Q - Which comedian is your favorite bad comedian?
A - It changes with the decade, starting with Red Skelton. But don’t make me choose. I love all my favorite bad comedians equally.
Q - You’ve done a lot of television and even shot your own pilot called, "Andytown." Do comedians get into the business to be on sitcoms?
A - Not really, but many comedians like money. There used to be a lot of money in sitcoms. Now there’s no money in anything. Are you cheered up?
Q - I’ve seen a few clips of your stand-up, none of them were of the same content. Sometimes you see comics doing the same act over and over. How do you decide what material to do for each show?
A - I couldn’t do the same act over and over. I would get sleepy. I never deliver my jokes in any particular order, and I am always writing new material, so the act changes. Boy do I enjoy tooting my own horn, or what? The question is rhetorical.
Q - Is Dane Cook worse than Joe Rogan?
A - Don’t get me in trouble with Joe Rogan. The guy knows martial arts and stuff like that. Do you want me to get my ass kicked? Would that make you happy?
Q - Anything else you wanted to say about bad comedians?
A - Does Jim Belushi count as a bad comedian even though he’s not really a comedian? I know that doesn’t answer your question. I just like making fun of Jim Belushi.
Jason Tanamor is the Editor of Zoiks! Online. He is also the author of the novels, "Hello Lesbian!" and "Anonymous."
By Jason Tanamor